Self Clearing Diary
Using The Pilot's Self Clearing book - Chapter 22
Update - Fri 5/5/00
R - Last night we sent this text file via email to Anthony who contributes so much to the free zone, including doing such a great job monitoring the Self Clearing list.
It seems we have achieved an important milestone with and for Self Clearing. With this chapter we have proved that Self Clearing produces Clears (surprise, surprise!). We have proved Self Clearing`works' . We understand the goal is clearing all 8 dynamics so our processing doesn't stop here. But we feel we have attained an EP for our Self Clearing Diary. What remains now is to tidy up what we've done, perhaps add some images and sounds (Abba's `Money, Money, Money' for example may provide appropriate ambience for the chapter on money).
An important factor leading up to T's result was not compromising with our own reality. Following many broken promises to have a look at our diary, check out the Self Clearing book, etc, a good `friend' finally commented I was using Self Clearing as a `crutch'. So we sent this email to her on 6 April. T's wins culminated in her achieving `Clear' soon after, on 14 April. I handled my brother in a similar manner via emails around the same time. Cruel? Wrong? Misguided? Unnecessary? I decided it was necessary, and not before time. Later I realised these actions actually conform to the Code. (see numbers 6 and 12). I wasn't strong enough to do such things before Self Clearing. Currently he lectures in psychology at university and at least one of his children is on drugs for behavioural problems.
Here is this chapter's diary leading up to T attaining the state known as Clear.
22.1 The E-Meter
R - The Pilot introduces the e-meter in this chapter. In the final paragraph he says:
`If you do have one and know how to use it, then do so by all means,
especially on those things that require assessments.'
Well, I hadn't touched my meter since beginning Self Clearing and sometimes thought I'd never need it again because I was handling everything quite well without one. Also, because I'd been unable to do anything about T's chronic `high TA' over the years I was reluctant to use a meter on her anyway. Besides, we'd both been doing so well without one I didn't see the need to start using one at this stage. However, when T claimed she had no current upsets/ARCx to handle anyway, I decided to go along with the Pilot (as usual), and, well, the rest is now history for us.
22.2 More on the anatomy of upsets
R - This chapter provides the information to completely handle any of life's upsets. We read through it and started using it. I had numerous wins (to be inserted here eventually, maybe) but T never got off the ground with it at all. When I pressed her on it she insisted she didn't have any current ARCxs anyway and that's why she'd stopped doing Self Clearing. I came up with a fantastic evaluation to counter that. I said EVERYONE has ARCxs so she must be being glib or something, and what about all the things she'd cried about over the years, etc. Neither of us would budge from our viewpoints until we both agreed it might be a good idea to use the e-meter (as suggested by the Pilot).
T - Metered by R asking what ARCx did I want handled. Had one to do with my puberty and crashing misunderstood words on this subject. I postulated at that time that I didn't want to grow up, which has resulted in me being five foot tall, slim and young looking. This was a good result but my TA was still high. Another ARCx was my inability to relax, which brought down the TA. The earlier similar was my spilt lip occurring when I was about five years of age. Postulates made at the time involved being careful and not wanting to be injured. I had an F/N and VGIs on this.
T - Audited by R on the meter. ARCx with my brother over mother's current illness. Assessed and went earlier similar to me looking after her while she was ill. Earlier similar to my hospital visit when I had a split lip. The extra questions that The Pilot provides in the ARCx process we found to be very helpful. Earlier similar to my father's death. I realised that my mother is now my responsibility because my brothers aren't that responsible. This was a good win and we ended there.
T - High TA again. ARCx concerning a friend of my mother's. I came up with the phrase "she's evil and must be stopped". Earlier similar was me being stuck talking to this lady before. This was assessed as an inhibited communication. This led to the realisation that she should be handled as we'd handled our friend S (with this email). Earlier similar was my split lip and my ninth birthday party. My parents made me invite people I didn't want to. My postulate was I wished my party never happened. This was assessed and I realised that this wasn't the worst thing that has happened to me after all. At the time I'd decided not to have another party. Earlier similar with my lip, enforced reality with doctors hurting me when I thought they were supposed to help. Realised that's why I reacted with medical staff when I took my mother to the hospital recently. They enforced their understanding on me.
Another ARCx, this time regarding my mother's belongings and me wanting to throw them out. Assessed as inhibited affinity. Decided that "I'm evil and must be stopped". My realisation was that this was a huge problem area. LFBD and VGIs (still high TA). This led to a similar problem area about wondering what it would be like to kiss women on trains. This was when I figured that they were implants because they were not my thoughts.
R - Once more the Pilot comes to the rescue. I knew the next step was to have T read chapter 38 Entities And Spiritual Fragments because it had helped me brilliantly so far with my own case.
The proof of the pudding would be in the eating. T had now read about entities but I had no idea what would happen in the next session. I'd never had problems processing my own but I never thought I'd be taking responsibility for someone else's OT case. To really appreciate what happened next I must confess I did NO further study, NO drilling and I haven't thought much about TRs since leaving the church about ten years ago.
T - As soon as we sat down I knew I wanted the implants dealt with. I was feeling very good but I knew I needed this session. I joked about being at "Demand For Improvement", which is quite different from my usual attitude towards self-clearing. I picked up the cans and said there's two things I want handled, (1)"I'm evil and must be stopped", and the thought, (2)"I wonder what it would be like to kiss her". (1)R asked me "was it mine or was it an entity's" and I said yes and I was able to locate it as being attached to my mind but I was pretty sure at that time it had gone. I was happy to deal with this entity and relieved that I wasn't losing my mind.
The next problem was the thought of kissing women on trains, which I had encountered before. I thought that this could be an entity also as again it wasn't my thought. I located the entity as being attached to my eyes and seeing what I had been seeing on the train. We did ARCx handling on the entity. It told me that it had a break in reality, enforced, and when I indicated that it handled the ARCx. R then told me to ask it what it was being. The answer was "my subconscious" and it was thinking "it's found a good body to attach to". R then told me to ask it who it was and to have it think "me". It told me it was a male. I felt at this time that it had blown and R indicated my needle was floating. I felt very good about this result. I was even able to crack a joke, "Is that an LFBD in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me."
R - Following the above session it suddenly dawned on me that if T was handling `OT stuff' she must be Clear! How the hell do I handle that?! (I'm not supposed to evaluate, etc. and I'm not a Class VIII auditor). Amazingly, that evening I'm checking out the newsgroup - alt.clearing.technology - and come across this juicy item. The unbelievable part is it said EXACTLY what I wanted to say to T at this exact point in time.
`On attaining the state of Clear a person begins to perceive and
become subject to the banks of entities.'
R - I had reservations about the authenticity of the document so I also had T go over all the definitions of Clear in the Tech Dictionary as well.
T - R showed me the newsgroup item and some definitions. I had mentioned to him earlier in the month that I felt about 10 per cent clear, but after seeing these references I realised that I in fact was clear and at the time of this writing (a month later, 19 May 2000) feel the same way.
22.4 Clearing up major upsets
R - Guess what? We were both right! At the start of the chapter T had stated she felt she didn't have any upsets to handle and I had insisted she must have. Well, we were both right. She was right because the above upsets in fact were not `hers' but came from BTs/entities. After clearing up those upsets she was then able to deal with her own stuff without using the meter.
T - I dealt with four recent incidents where an ARCx (enforced reality on myself) has occurred. One involved another person pushing in front of me in a queue, one was a friend of my mother's obtaining my work phone number and ringing me, one was not wanting to go to work and the other was R's parents staying for three months every year. I was a little frustrated with seeing the same pattern of me being effect, however I dealt with each incident to a good point. I then came up with a recent ARCx where I enforced reality. This happened when my older brother didn't show enough responsibility when my mother fell ill. This led to a realisation that I was being a patsy (which, funnily enough, is my adopted name in my former Catholic religion). My win is that I made the connection with this and the fact that I've been effect for so long with family, strangers, work etc.
LOOK MA - NO METER!
T - This morning at the local pool I damaged my right neck/shoulder while swimming a lap. This had happened once before, late last year, at the same pool, the same part of the pool and swimming towards the same end of the pool. This time I told R, who was next to me, that it felt like I'd been stabbed . It was very painful upon any movement of my head or neck. It was like a paralysis. I felt as though I was stuck with the pain, which almost reduced me to tears. R guided me in the process to handle entities. The entity was being a knife (I could picture it vividly). It didn't want to leave so I ran it through incident one and it finally blew. I felt better after this happened. A slight pain remained but to me this equated to healing from being "stabbed". I'm glad I did the process. It made the difference between spending the day in bed writhing in agony to me being able to spend the day performing physical work with little discomfort.
R - Well, another FIRST for the dynamic duo? I was already blown out by the previous successes from this chapter. But we don't normally take an e-meter to the swimming pool and T's pain was very real and very NOW so I decided to have a go at it. To me it was so obviously an entity I had no problems running T through the what while in the main pool, and then we went into the hot spa and continued with the who/me step. I was a bit concerned when it didn't resolve quickly but a little fishing discovered the entity needed to run Incident 1 so we did that and it worked.
Now we've demonstrated entities can be handled without a meter. Certainly the confidence to do so came from doing the previous 21 chapters without a meter. But the results were much better than I'd anticipated.
(These pages still under construction as at May 2000)
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On to Chapter 24